A few months ago, one of my long-term clients hired an executive assistant.
On paper, he had the skills.
In reality, he wasn’t proactive.
Important meetings for a new business initiative were slipping through the cracks.
Follow ups weren’t happening.
I tried coaching him.
I gave him tips, reminders, encouragement, assignments.
Nothing changed. And we decided to let him go.
So, wanting to help, I made a deal with client: I’d take over some of the follow up and scheduling while we built better systems.
We’d get the structure in place, hire a new EA, and I’d hand it all back.
That was months ago.
The systems are still a work in progress.
And I’m still syncing calendars, coordinating meetings, and chasing people for confirmations. (On top of similar work I was already doing for this and another client: customer service, handling refunds, gathering data for reports, etc).
This is work any competent admin could do.
And it drains me.
How VA Work Sneaks In
For me, “VA work” isn’t just posting social media or entering data.
It shows up as the endless, low-level maintenance: follow ups, customer service, scheduling, tracking deliverables.
It’s the kind of work that fills your day without moving you an inch closer to your goals.
And it’s seductive because it feels helpful in the moment.
But here’s the problem: once you start doing it, you teach your client that it’s part of your role.
Which means they’ll keep asking.
And it’s hard to climb back out.
This is tied directly to undervaluing your service.
If you see yourself as worth only what you can do for a client in terms of raw output, you’ll keep saying yes to things that don’t belong on your plate.
The Real Cost
The time is obvious.
Two hours spent managing calendars is two hours you’re not building strategies or creating assets that actually generate revenue.
The energy cost is sneakier.
Low-level work saps your mental focus.
You end up too drained to think creatively or strategically.
And when you’re constantly in task mode, you stop showing up as the high-level partner you want to be.
It’s also an opportunity cost.
Every day you spend as de facto admin is a day you can’t serve the clients who would pay for your actual expertise.
The Fix
First, if you want to be a VA, this probably doesn’t apply to you.
That’s a valid business model.
And nobody should make you feel bad about choices you make with intention.
But if your goal is to operate at a more strategic level, you have to guard your positioning like it’s your most valuable asset.
Here’s the boundary I will use going forward:
“That’s not my role. I’m here to help you with [strategic thing], not [admin thing]. If you need that handled, I can recommend (or find) someone who’s great at it.”
No “just this once.”
No “until we get someone else in place.”
Just a hard line that you do not cross.
The Question to Ask Yourself
Every time a client asks you to step in on something outside your lane, ask:
Is this the work I want to be known for?
If the answer is no, then say no.
Or you’ll wake up months later, like I did, realizing you’ve built a role you never wanted.
This is Letter #2 of 'Solopreneur Letters' – a series I’m writing where I share the hard-earned wisdom I wish I’d had when I started on my solopreneur journey. See the full list:
I wonder if it would be worth your time building them an actual Virtual Assistant in one of the LLMs? I think ChatGPT would be a particularly good one in this regard, with it's Tasks and Agents features. Just set them up for the person before hand with a good instruction set.