This week I caught myself slipping into the wrong kind of relationship with my own work.
You know that feeling.
Like you should just be grateful for the chance to show up at all.
Grateful for subscribers.
Grateful for clients.
Grateful someone wants to pay you anything.
But here's the problem: if you act like you're lucky to have them, you'll always undersell yourself.
I read a story this week that nailed this.
A franchise consultant was talking to someone who already owned three successful franchises.
But because the guy had been stuck at three for a while and didn’t have more franchises than he did, he started seeing himself as a complete newbie again.
The consultant’s advice:
"Stop acting like someone who's lucky to own three franchises. Start acting like someone who's building toward twenty."
That stopped me cold.
Because even this week, I was doing the exact same thing.
The $225 Hour Moment
I've been applying to jobs on Upwork, and I set my rate at $225/hour.
Everything in my experience says that's where I should be.
The work I do, the results I get, the problems I solve - the math checks out.
But it felt weird.
Like I wasn't ready for it.
Like I was reaching beyond my station.
Then I landed an interview.
First thing the guy said: "Your rate was a lot higher than everybody else's... and that's what made me want to talk to you."
The price wasn't the problem.
The belief was.
I'd been acting like someone lucky to charge anything instead of someone building toward premium rates.
And clients can smell that uncertainty from a mile away.
The Gratitude Trap
I've been undervaluing myself for years.
Not just in pricing, but in how I show up.
Long-term clients would ask for "quick favors" that turned into hours of work outside my scope.
I'd say yes because I felt grateful for the opportunity to work with them.
I became their virtual assistant instead of their strategic partner. I took on everything instead of focusing on what I should actually be paid to do.
Why?
Because somewhere along the way, I started acting like I was lucky they chose me.
But if you're solving a real, painful problem for someone, they should feel lucky to work with you.
The Voice That Keeps You Small
There's always going to be that voice telling you to quote lower.
To keep your rates safe.
To be grateful for whatever comes your way.
You'll find other people charging less and think, "Maybe I should too."
But you can also find people charging more.
A lot of them probably have less experience than you.
They just put themselves out there with confidence in their offer.
The difference isn't their skills.
It's their relationship with their own value.
They're not acting grateful people are buying from them.
They're acting like they're building toward something bigger.
What Building Toward Twenty Looks Like
For solopreneurs, "building toward twenty" isn't about franchises.
It's about the mindset shift from scarcity to growth.
Instead of "I'm lucky to have this client," it's "I'm building a practice that attracts premium clients."
Instead of "I hope they say yes to my rate," it's "This rate reflects the value I provide."
Instead of "I should take whatever work comes my way," it's "I focus on the work that moves me toward where I want to be."
It's the difference between protecting what you have and building what you want.
It's about acting like the person you're becoming, not the person you were.
The Signal in the Market
Here's what that Upwork interview taught me: the market rewards confidence.
The client didn't want the cheapest option. He wanted someone who valued their own work enough to price it appropriately.
My high rate was a signal.
It said "I know what I'm worth, and I deliver results that justify this investment."
And even though he chose someone else for his project, the lesson stands:
When you act like you're building toward something bigger, people start seeing you that way too.
The Choice You Make Every Day
Every time you quote a rate, respond to a client, or decide what work to take on, you're choosing your relationship with your value.
You can choose an attitude that keeps you small.
Or you can choose confidence that builds something bigger.
The franchise owner was right.
Stop acting like you're lucky to be where you are.
Start acting like you're building toward where you want to go.
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